The Day the Coffee was Drugged
by Kara Grey
Summary: What happens when Professor Xavier goes out of town and leaves Logan in charge? Why the Brotherhood takes advantage of it and drugs the coffee, of course!
1. Chapter 1

This one is mostly humor, although I might end up with a couple of pairings. I don't really have anything else to say except enjoy!

The Day the Coffee was Drugged

Pietro smirked as he dumped the remaining contents of the little vial into the coffee.

He heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen so he took off in a gust of wind.

No sooner had he disappeared had the kitchen door swung open, revealing one very tired looking Rogue.

She slowly made her way over to the awaiting coffee and smiled happily as she poured it into her cup.

Right before she took a sip, she heard a rumbling.

She looked around the kitchen, trying to find the source of such a loud noise, but realized what it was after it was too late.

A big heard of mutant teens came pouring into the kitchen.

She sighed. _Here we go again._

Within moments, the rumbling had stopped and she was alone in the kitchen once more.

She looked around the once spotless room. The coffee pot was now empty and the fridge was probably close to the same.

She sighed happily as she finally got to take a sip of the coffee.

She was only about half way through the cup of coffee when Kitty phased into the kitchen, holding a similar mug.

"Is there like any coffee left Rogue? It was really good this morning!" She asked Rogue.

Rogue shook her head as she finished gulping down her coffee.

Kitty was right, something had tasted different but Rogue couldn't put her finger on it.

Suddenly Rogue scrunched her face in concentration and held up her hand. After waving it in front of her face a couple of times, she turned to Kitty.

"Check it out Kit! It's mesmerizing!"

She began waving her hand in front of Kitty's face and a goofy grin spread across Kitty's face.

Just then Wolverine burst into the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Kitty and Rogue.

"Stripes, Half-Pint, what the hell are you two doing?"

Rogue put her hand down and she and Kitty turned to Wolverine.

"Wow, calm down brother. Make love not war!" Kitty said, thinking it would calm him down.

Wolverine sniffed the air and walked over to the coffee pot.

"Okay, who slipped drugs into the coffee?"

Kitty looked at Wolverine, confused, "Drugs Mr. Logan? What gives you the idea there was drugs in the coffee?"

Rogue stumbled over to Wolverine and took the coffee pot.

"You're crazy! There was nothin in here except coffee." Rogue informed him.

Kitty took the pot and nodded. Suddenly her face lit up and she turned to Rogue.

"Hey Rogue, it's a coffee _pot_."

Rogue burst out in a fit of giggles and Wolverine sighed heavily.

"Why did Charlie pick this week to be gone?" He asked himself.

He snatched the coffee pot away from the girls and turned to put it in the sink, when he caught a scent.

It was familiar, he just couldn't place it.

"Speedy!"

"Hey Rogue! _Speed_y."

They broke out in another fit of giggles.

Logan sighed and looked at the two girls.

"Do you two know who else had coffee this morning?"

They stopped laughing and Rogue thought back to the stampede earlier that morning.

"Umm...everyone!"

Logan looked at the clock. "7:45. That means most of them have already gone to school!"

Kitty gasped. "School! Quick, let's go Rogue!"

"Oh no you don't. You two aren't going anywhere." Logan growled.

"But-but if we don't go to school and keep the others out of trouble who know what'll happen." Kitty pleaded, as even in her drugged state, she didn't want to miss a whole day of school.

"Besides, wouldn't you rather let the teachers handle us?" Rogue questioned.

Logan looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding his head.

"Fine, you can go, you two seem to be back to normal, but if you see the others making fools of themselves, send them back here. I'll drive you two to school; I have something I need to take care of there."

Kitty giggled again, "Speedy."

Logan shot her 'the look' and she quickly stopped laughing.

The three climbed into the X-Van and Logan took off down the driveway.

When they arrived at school, they saw the Brotherhood standing close to Lance's jeep, all laughing very hard.

Logan parked the van and headed over to where the boys were gathered, Kitty and Rogue in tow.

"What's so funny boys?" Logan asked in a warning tone.

The boys quickly stopped laughing and Lance was the first to blurt out, "Nothing!"

Meanwhile Kitty and Rogue had gotten distracted about halfway to the boys and were now staring at squirrel in a nearby tree.

"You think it needs help getting out of the tree?" Kitty asked Rogue.

Rogue watched the squirrel for a few moments before answering, "No, I think it's cats you have to help out of trees. Why don't we experiment? You go up there and we'll see if you can climb down."

Kitty nodded, "Good plan!"

Pietro tried to stifle his laughter as they observed the girls and their 'squirrel' watching.

"Are they staring at a plastic bag?" Toad asked.

Lance elbowed both the boys and smiled at Logan. "We have no idea what you're talking about! I mean, why would _we_ of all people drug the X-Geeks? We saw the X-Geeks this morning and none of them was acting any differently than normal."

"I didn't say anything about you drugging them." Logan told the cowering boys.

"Uh-well..." Lance began, but was interrupted by Rogue's screams to save the 'squirrel' as Kitty climbed up the tree.

She picked up the plastic bag and threw it down to Rogue. "I think he's dead Rogue! We were too late! Why didn't the other students save him? Oh little Nibbles! You'll be missed dearly!"

"We should give him a proper burial." Rogue called back up the tree to Kitty.

"Umm Rogue...I'm stuck!"

Logan looked from the girls back to the Brotherhood boys and let out a sigh.

"Why me? Okay, you're all at school which means you're their responsibility now. I'm going home." Logan turned and walked back to the X-Van, ignoring the boys as they burst out laughing once more.

After he was gone, Kitty decided to try climbing out of the tree herself, but ended up falling the last few feet and landing on her butt on little Nibbles.

Rogue rushed over to the fallen Kitty and shoved her aside.

"What have y'all done to poor Nibbles? Now he's gonna haunt us!" Rogue lifted up the plastic bag and held it protectively.

Just then the bell rang, signaling that they had five minutes to get to their first class.

Kitty got up and brushed herself off and Rogue threw Nibbles over her shoulder, forgetting about him for the moment.

Lance finally managed to stop laughing and turned to Pietro.

"Nice work 'tro. This should prove to be an interesting day. We should get to class. After all we're in the same homeroom as Kitty and Rogue."

Pietro smirked, "I've never been this excited about going to school in my life."

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What did everyone think? Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! I'm updating! I'm amazed at myself!

Thanks to all my reviewers!

Fudie: I'm glad you like Nibbles. Lol. I have no idea where that came from, but it stuck, Nibbles the plastic bag!

Anarchylust: Thanks, I'm glad you like it! And don't worry, I'm continuing!!

Chuckles123: I know, they're cruel! Poor little Nibbles! Don't worry he'll get his revenge!

Megaroony: I hope so! This is my first humor story, and thus far it's been fun!

Tailfeather: I'm updating! I'm updating!

Yogie16: Yah, that was one of my most favorite lines too! Gotta love that Pietro!

ldypebsaby: I'll try to do more on Scott and Jean for you, maybe not in this chapter but soon!

DuctapeDaredevil: Thank you, I don't think I'm that great a writer, but I enjoy doing it! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Sorry to anyone I missed! I really appreciate the reviews guys! You're what keeps me going!

Okay, here's the next chapter:

The Day the Coffee was Drugged – Chapter II

Kitty and Rogue ran into their homeroom with only a few seconds to spare. When Rogue walked in, she looked at the class and waved to everyone, earning some strange looks. Kitty came in right behind her and dragged her to two empty desks at the back of the class.

Pietro and Lance followed closely and when they got into the class they found the closest desks to Kitty and Rogue that they could.

No sooner had they sat down, the bell had gone, starting the school day.

The teacher went to the front of the class to start his lecture and Rogue was already bored.

She turned to Kitty to see if she was as bored and noticed the younger girl staring intently at something outside the window.

Could it be? The Ice Cream truck!

Kitty and Rogue got up at the same time and rushed over to the window.

"Miss Pryde, Miss Rogue, is there a problem?" The teacher asked the two girls who were now trying to find a way out the latched window.

Kitty poked the latch a couple of times, trying to get it to come undone while Rogue turn and gave the teacher an innocent look.

"We can't miss the Ice Cream truck!" She explained and pointed out the window to the school bus waiting outside the school.

"Ice Cream truck?" The teacher asked, looking outside himself. "There is no Ice Cream truck, that's a _school bus_!"

The entire class burst out laughing as the two girls gave the teacher a confused look and examined the school bus again.

"An ice cream truck disguised as a school bus? Now that's clever!" Kitty exclaimed, provoking more laughter from the class.

"I can tell I'm not going to get any work done as long as two are here today. Please leave the classroom and come back when you're ready to work." The teacher said, trying not to lose his temper with the two girls gone loopy.

Kitty looked from Rogue back to the teacher.

"He needs more coffee in the morning!" She declared.

Rogue nodded and turned back to the window, but the bus was gone.

"He made us miss the ice cream! Come on Kit, let's go!" Rogue left the classroom, Kitty following closely.

"Another two intelligent minds corrupt." The teacher said to himself as the last of the whispers quieted and the class turned their attention back to the teacher.

Pietro looked at Lance. They were going to miss all the drug induced entertainment. They had to get out of class somehow...the question was, how?

Suddenly it came to Lance; the only sure way to get kicked out was to be like Kitty and Rogue...or his specialty: get in trouble.

Lance took out a piece of paper and began rolling it into a ball, which he threw at the back of the teacher's head when the teacher was turned to the board, scribbling down today's notes.

The teacher spun around and narrowed his eyes at Lance, who had put on a very overdone innocent look.

"Alvers, you're only getting one warning today." The teacher informed him before turning back around to the board.

Pietro caught onto the plan and took out his spitball shooter.

After about 5 minutes, the classroom door flew open and Pietro and Lance came running out laughing.

"Now where'd those girls go?" Lance asked, looking around the deserted halls.

They didn't have to wait long to find the answer. Giggles could be heard down the hall and suddenly Kitty came flying through a locker door.

"Ready or not, here I come!" She called down the hall, presumably to Rogue.

Just then, Rogue came running out of a classroom, the door slammed shut behind her.

"I found you!" Kitty called to Rogue, who looked slightly confused.

"That's not fair, that teacher ruined mah perfect hiding place!" Rogue informed Kitty, while brushing herself off.

Kitty heard something going by overhead and moved to the window.

"Nibbles is flying!" She exclaimed.

Rogue ran over to the window and looked to the sky as well.

"That's not Nibbles! That's a roller coaster! Let's go find the line to get on!"

Suddenly Rogue noticed the two boys observing them and smirked.

"Hey Lance, yah have your jeep here, right?" She smiled mischievously.

Lance nodded slowly and glanced at Pietro uneasily.

"Well let's go then!" Kitty cried, heading towards the exit.

Rogue chased after her and Pietro and Lance exchanged another look before running after them.

As soon as they had all pilled into the jeep and Lance had pulled away, Logan pulled up with the X-Van as the school had called the mansion regarding the kids' behavior.

Logan walked straight to the principal's office where all of the trouble making mutants were gathered.

Principal Kelly gave him a dirty look as he herded all of the students out to the van.

He counted all of the students and went over to Jean.

"Have you seen Kitty and Rogue?" He asked, sounding concerned, well as concerned as Logan could sound...

Jean giggled and shook her head.

Logan groaned and walked over to Principal Kelly. "I'm only going to ask you once bub, were Rogue or Kitty Pryde sent to your office?"

Kelly shook his head and gestured to the mutants crammed into the van. "If they aren't with those freaks then they weren't sent to my office. What is wrong with those kids anyway?"

Logan ignored the last question and turned back toward the school.

He could hear laughter coming from the crammed van behind him, and he decided that it was more important to get the kids home; if Rogue and Kitty were staying out of trouble then it was two less for him to worry about.

He turned back to the van and started walking over when the van came to life.

Bobby Drake was in the driver's seat.

He started running, but it was too late. The van backed out of the stall it was parked in and went flying out of the parking lot.

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That was kinda short. Oh well, at least I updated! I'll try to hurry with the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

I'm updating! Hurray! Thanks again to my reviewers!

ldypebsaby: I know, I feel sorry for poor Logan! I wonder if Kitty would be a good driver while she's drugged up...hmm...oh the possibilities. Lol. Thanks for reviewing.

Anarchylust: Sorry I haven't been posting very much lately, I'll try to get on soon and post. I hope you don't loose the internet! That would be awful!

Here's the next chapter:

The Day the Coffee was Drugged – Chapter III

Lance pulled into the Airport parking lot and the girls climbed out. Kitty saw another plane go overhead and took off running to where the plane had taken off.

"Come on Rogue, it's this way!"

Rogue ran after Kitty, followed closely by Lance and Pietro.

When they got closer to the runway, they came across a big chain-link fence going all around the area.

Kitty took Rogue's gloved hand in her own and phased them both through.

They laughed as they ran towards a parked plane that was boarding passengers.

Rogue looked at the security guards that were helping people on the plane and motioned for Kitty to follow her.

She led Kitty around to the back of the plane where the luggage was being loaded.

Kitty phased them into a near-by crate that was marked "_Caution: Explosive contents. Handle with care._"

Meanwhile Lance and Pietro tried desperately to climb the fence, but when they reached the top they soon found out that it was an electrical fence.

Lance fell to the ground, followed by a scorched Pietro.

"I don't think we're going to be able to follow them this time." Lance stated.

Lance looked up to see that Pietro no longer stood beside him.

"Pietro?" He looked around frantically. Where had that hyper-active speed demon gone to?

In a flash Pietro was standing next to him again.

"They're getting on a plane to go to New Orleans." He stated.

Lance nodded and looked at the fence again. A dark smile crept to his face and suddenly the ground started shaking violently. No sooner had it begun then it was gone again, the only sign of the earthquake happening was the toppled fence.

The boys took off, running towards the plane. All of the passengers had already boarded so they ran around to the back where Kitty and Rogue had phased into a crate.

Lance looked around frantically, trying to find a way to sneak in. He spotted a large crate that hadn't been nailed shut so he ran over, dragging Pietro behind him to the crate and threw it open. Some of the Styrofoam "snow" had fallen out, making room for the boys. They jumped in and pulled the side open.

Only a few moments later, they heard something outside the crate. Voices. The voices nailed their crate shut and loaded it onto the plane.

Pietro shifted uncomfortably, pushing Styrofoam into Lance's face and mouth.

Lance managed to pull his arm up and move it away from his face.

"Pietro! Stop moving." He whispered as quietly as he could while still being audible to the restless boy next to him.

"How much longer do we have to stay like this?" Pietro asked as he shifted once again.

"Until someone takes out the nails." Lance stated simply, trying to push the Styrofoam back toward Pietro.

Suddenly there was a sickening lurch as the plane started moving and all the luggage and crates moved towards the back of the plane.

Outside the crate, Kitty and Rogue had phased out of their crate and were now holding onto a nearby crate as the plane took to the air.

"This is a fun rollercoaster!" Kitty yelled over the sound of the engines.

Rogue nodded and smiled at Kitty, "Watch this!"

She let go of the crate and to her surprise went flying backward and hit another crate.

"Oww!"

"Rogue?" A muffled voice called from inside the crate.

Kitty walked over as the plane leveled off and looked at the crate curiously.

"The crate can talk?" She asked Rogue.

Rogue poked the crate. "How do y'all know mah name?"

Lance let out a sigh of exasperation. "No Rogue, it's me, Lance."

"The crate is named Lance?" Kitty asked, confused.

"Hey Mr. Crate...er-Lance, we know someone named Lance too, but he's a lot smaller and not shaped like a box." Rogue said to the crate.

Pietro laughed at their stupidity. "What about that Pietro he hangs out with?" He asked curious as to what the girls thought of him.

Kitty though for a moment before answering, "You're definitely not as annoying or conceited or egotistical or...well I guess you could say you're definitely better looking."

Rogue gave Kitty _the look_. "Are y'all hitting on Mr. Crate?"

Kitty giggled. "Maybe..."

Lance laughed as Pietro went into sulking mode. "I am way hotter than some crate." He mumbled under his breath.

Lance looked back to the little crack where he could see Rogue's arm. He smiled as he suddenly had an idea of how to get Kitty to phase them out of the uncomfortable crate.

"Could you girls possibly take out whatever might be inside me?" Mr. Crate/ Lance asked.

"Of course! Anything for you Mr. Crate." Kitty said flirtingly. (A/N Is that even a word? Well spell-check didn't say otherwise so we'll say yes, it is now.)

She walked over to the crate and phased into it. She came back out with Lance and Pietro and a whole bunch of Styrofoam snow.

"Is that better Mr. Crate?" Rogue asked the now vacant crate.

When the crate didn't reply, Kitty rushed back over to it.

"Mr. Crate? Lance?" She called frantically.

"Oh great!" Rogue exclaimed, "Yah killed yet another friend of ours. Way t' go Kit!"

Pietro walked angrily over to Kitty. "You think a crate is hotter than me?" He asked.

Kitty looked down in shame. "A crate that I loved! I killed him!"

Lance walked over and patted Pietro on the back, "Go for it, while she's on the rebound." He winked and turned his attention to examining the cargo hold.

It was pretty spacious considering the amount of luggage that had been crammed into it.

He looked to where Rogue had been standing only moments ago to find that she had moved to another crate and was attempting to climb it.

He watched as she scrambled up the side and would almost reach the top before sliding back to the ground and trying again.

Kitty had already gotten over the crate and was now poking Pietro's hair, which was being held in place with loads of hair gel.

Lance sighed. It was going to be a long flight.

----

There you have it, Chapter 3! Review please!


	4. Chapter 4

This is one of my fav chapters, mostly because a lot happens to advance the plot in the direction I wanted. Also, there's some fluff, but not much, a little Loro, and a little Kietro. Thanks to my reviewers:

Authorfanatic: I don't know if Bobby's a bad driver, I'm just assuming that anyone who's high would be a bad driver! I'm continuing!

Idypebsaby: They're going to run into Gambit alright...well I don't want give anything away. You'll see in the up coming chapters!

Anarchylust: Don't worry; I'll try to get onto the RPG again tonight! I'll get Rogue on as well. Well here's my latest chapter, I hope you like it!

Okay, for all my loyal reviewers and my adoring public (I can dream!), here's chapter four:

The Day the Coffee was Drugged – Chapter IV

Bobby was laughing as they pulled away from the police car that had been chasing them for the past forty minutes.

He drove around a tight corner throwing his passengers into each other and the side of the van.

The police car started gaining speed again and Amara grinned as she rolled down the passenger window and shot lava at the two front tires of the police cruiser behind them.

The police car swerved off the road into the ditch and a cheer echoed from inside the van.

Scott rubbed his head as he pulled himself off the side of the van.

He looked out the windshield to see where they were headed. He saw a sign that read Massena 5 Miles.

"Guys...how'd we get on highway 42?" Scott asked, looking around nervously.

Jean shrugged and Bobby grinned. "We're going to Canada!" (A/N Hurray! Canada! Hehe, I actually live in Canada and up until five minutes ago I had no idea where Massena was...or highway 42 for that matter. Oh, the joys of the internet! 'Kay well on with the story.)

Bobby stepped on the gas again. It was only a matter of time before more police were on their tail and he planned to be across the border by then.

Meanwhile, Logan, who had tried to contact the Professor and had no luck, was not far behind them on his motorcycle.

_Where could those_ _kids be going?_ He asked himself again for the hundredth time. If they kept going in this direction they'd be in Canada within the next hour. Not that he minded. He had longed to go back to his native Canada for a while but the X-Men needed him so he stayed.

He could see the town of Massena not far off to his right that meant that they must be really close; he should be able to see the great lakes soon. He smiled as he remembered the last time he had been to the great lakes. He had taken Ororo there during the summer to show her the great falls. She had loved every sight and he had loved watching her thrilled expression, although he'd never admit it.

Suddenly a loud siren broke him out of his reverie. There were three police cars not too far ahead of him, chasing the van.

He growled and sped up. By the time he had gotten close enough to see the van, the police cars were all in the ditch with no front tires.

By then he could finally see the lakes and the border as well.

He slowed down, expecting the kids to do the same. They wouldn't get past the border, but the van didn't slow at all, instead it picked up speed.

Logan looked ahead to the border and noted that there weren't any other vehicles waiting to go through, but the border guards seemed to sense that something was amiss with the speeding van and were scrambling around trying to find a way to stop the crazy van. Logan could hear the sirens blaring and he figured that if the kids could hear it as well, they didn't care. They reached the border and the arm that normally went up to allow people to pass through, went up, but not under its own power or that of the guards. Logan knew that it was Jean Grey's doing.

The van sped through unscathed and the arm went back down, making it appear as if nothing had even happened. The guards all looked at each other, a silent agreement passing through them. As far as they were concerned, nothing had happened, after all how were they going to explain that a van sped through the metal arm without damaging it? No, some things were better left unsaid. One of the guards noticed the motorcycle headed towards them and yelled to the others to go back to their posts. They would carry on like nothing had happened.

Logan groaned. There was no way he was getting through as easily as the others had. He could kill the guards but he knew what the Professor would say.

He came to a stop in front of the arm and looked at the guards.

"Passport?" One of the guards demanded.

Logan felt his pockets for his passport and looked at the guard, "Would you believe, I left it at home."

The guard narrowed his eyes and motioned to the other guards. Three of them came forward and the first guard spoke again, "Then I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me."

-------

Lance awoke abruptly as he felt the plane bouncing. Turbulence. He looked at his watch and groaned. It was nearly noon. They had to be arriving in New Orleans soon.

He looked up to see where everyone else was and found Rogue curled up on top of the crate she had been trying to climb and Kitty lying on the ground next to Pietro with her head resting on his stomach.

Lance grinned to himself; Pietro had gotten her on the rebound.

Lance felt his ears pop as the plane started descending. He got up and rushed over to Pietro. He shook him a couple times to wake him.

Pietro groaned and looked up at Lance. "Whatdoyouwant?" He asked rapidly.

Lance looked at him strangely and motioned towards Kitty. "Wake her up, we're landing. I'll go wake up Rogue."

He ran over to the crate that Rogue was sleeping on and went to climb it went the plane started descending a little quicker. Rogue rolled off the crate and landed on the ground with a thud.

"Ow!!"

Lance walked over to her side and helped her up. "We have to grab hold of something so we don't go flying." He helped her over to a sturdy crate and they held on as the plane continued descending toward the runway below.

Pietro reluctantly woke Kitty and brought her over to where Lance and Rogue stood.

Everything was silent, aside from the noisy engines.

When they finally touched down and came to a stop Pietro and Lance were both asking themselves the same question, had the drugs worn off already?

Their question was soon answered as Kitty grabbed everyone and instead of phasing them into a crate, fell through the plane to the tarmac below.

Kitty and Rogue both exchanged a look and before the boys knew it, they were gone again, running toward the airport. They blended in perfectly with the crowd of people getting off the plane.

When they got into the airport, they saw people standing with signs in their hands.

Kitty was examining each one before stopping at a sign labeled, Samantha Drapeau.

Rogue looked from the sign back to Kitty and smiled, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

"Here's our ride, _Samantha_." Kitty yelled to Rogue and Rogue walked over looking snooty.

"Hello, Ah'm Samantha. You must be mah ride." The man nodded and motioned for the two to follow him.

He led them outside to an awaiting limo and opened the door for the girls.

Kitty and Rogue both climbed in and waited till the door closed before squealing with delight about riding in a limo.

The driver put down the window that separated the driver from the passengers and smiled. "Sit tight girls, we'll be at the guild in about five minutes."

With that he put the window back up and Rogue looked at Kitty, "Guild? What was he talking about Ah wonder?"

Kitty shrugged and smiled again, "We get to ride in a limo!"

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That's it for now! I guess it wasn't really as humorous as previous chapters, but don't worry; it'll get funnier in chapters to come! Oh and you'll find out what happens to the boys, the kids and Logan in Canada and which 'Guild' the girls are going to in the next chapter! Reviews please!


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